Goodbye

I guess I really finally have to say good bye to you. It is over. It is the final goodbye. No more patching up back. No more returning back to where once we were.

Last time all those break ups initiated by me were just some childish tantrums I had. But this is the real deal. There won't be any turning back as much as I want to.

7 years of relationship... in one night, everything is gone. I tried to cry on that night. But tears just came out bit by bit. Then next day, I had a good cry. I don't know when it is going to end. When can my heart stop feeling so painful.

I don't know since when I have become this bitter and angry person. Probably breaking up is a good choice.

I hate all of this. I don't want to miss you. I don't want to miss the places we had been to. I don't want to recall the first few years of our relationship. I don't want to miss having your hand wrap around my hand. They were all good memories. But it is too painful to recall.. I don't want to have to always cry and think about those!

It is always difficult to be the one who say good bye first. But it must be done somehow. We aren't compatible with each other. I believe there is one girl who will suit you. And I wish you all the best.

The saddest thing is the dream you had... about me on the plane crash. You called me on the cell phone and I picked up and said, " I'm fine and I'm really happy because I can do anything here." Symbolizing that I'm dead and I'm in paradise. It kind of symbolize in real life that I'm no longer the cheerful and bright girl I was last time. That girl that you love initially "died" and no longer were there...

I really appreciate that you honestly told me what were your thoughts and you did not want to do anything despicable behind my back.

I hope we can still remain as friends. Thanks for the past 7 years for taking good care of me, lent me financial support whenever you could for me, being there with me through different phases of life. Life had definitely been colorful for me with you around.

I am truly sorry... if I mistreated you in any way during the past. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that as a girlfriend, I did not add enough colors in your life for you as you did to me.

You were such a big part of my life and my heart. Now that large part has been taken away from me. I know I will need time to re adjust living my life knowing that you will not be part of my life anymore. Thanks for making such a deep imprint in my life. You will always be my first love and will always hold a special place in my heart.

Live well, take care, my friend. I wish you all the happiness in the world. You truly deserve it.