First bad encounter in SS ~ 19th of April 2006

Finally I encounter the first bad day in this company! I guess nothing is a bed of roses anywhere or anything. I guess partly is because of my own ego and pride. But also partly is because of one of the colleague there. As I've mentioned earlier in my blog. Her initial is ML.

Last blog I mentioned about the T-shirt competition. Actually I was quite excited about this thing. And I thought my design isn't bad. At least I think that it looked ok. On the day which is the 19th of April 2006, when all entries were in, it was time to review the 11 entries that were submitted. I went over to my leader JS place as he wanted to open them to see. ML was there too. JS and ML can give very sarcastic remarks. So one by one they open the file and looked, as they went along looking, they kept criticising about people's work, like "wow this tshirt too loud, cannot wear one la." etc etc... Criticised finished one work, they giggled.

My entry was the last one. And they opened it and after looking at it they immediately criticised, "Waaa this one also cannot la, the design so big, I don't dare to wear it out. And the logo so big?" Then they made some joke about the logo being so big etc, etc. And they giggled. Then I told them that the design was mine after they finished criticising. When they knew it was my design, they burst out laughing. I don't know whether they were laughing at my designs, or were embarrassed about the fact that they made jokes about my design. I was quite hurt inside. As I was saying, I did not think my design was that bad. I admit that the logo was too big. Another thing is that I found that among the 11 designs, most of them design something that is small in size and put at the top middle of the T-shirt. I think it was quite boring. At least mine was different from the others.

After that, ML went over to IR side to go through the designs with her AGAIN~ Then IR was browsing through my entry. And she said she really liked my designs. She actually liked it the most among all the entries. I'm quite happy that at least she liked it! Because... Her designs were the one that alot of people in the colleagues voted for. Her designs were like the ones that were put in the top middle. I think her designs were not bad though. And then ML continued to make fun of my T-shirt design saying "If somebody wear your T-shirt design, from far far away I can see our company logo already la!" *follow by giggles and laughs* continuing... "I know you are still under probation, but you no need to be so desperate right? Put the company logo so big for what? You want the 100 dollars I know I know." Then JS our leader passed by and also joined in to tease me. =( Then ML kept continue to make fun of me and my big logo. I was very upset by then.

In the end I voted for CT's(from design dept) design. It was quite cute and it fits the theme of the animation. I actually would have voted for IR's design but since Ms Bitchy won't keep her mouth shut. I just don't want to vote for what she likes. And she actually vote grey t-shirt with the design and added this comment ,"Grey is the IN color of this season leh you know anything or not!" when I said grey is like quite wierd to match with jeans. I really don't know anything about fashion and what color is in or not.

But is GREY really the IN color for this season?

From what I know, ML initally worked as an IT programmer... and she was highly recommended by M(the cute guy who is a DJ). JS commented that her portfolio is only... O.K.
So, ML, portfolio is only OK and didn't even take part in the T-shirt design when initially she was the one who said "I want to take part!" so enthusiastically. SO... what gives her the right to laugh and criticise other people's works? She didn't laugh at my work alone but almost laugh at every other people's works except for IR's as she LOVES it sooooooo much.

And don't get me started about my lead JS... He laughed finished already then when he found out that the designs were mine, he tried to salvage what was left between the 2 of us. I think he just wanted to try to make things not so bad for me so I won't bear grudges at him. But that's so hypocritical! Although he wasn't as bad as ML, I'm starting to dislike him. Just because he is so PR! And I will never ever forget his expression when he found out it was my designs. Do I sound like I wanted to take revenge?

Then came the next bad thing that happened. KH(the technical director) wanted something quite urgently. The task was assigned to me during noon 2pm, unfortunately I couldn't finish it at 6pm when it was time for him to go for his jogging session, then he asked JS to do the job cos obviously he has more exp than me DUH! After the earlier pride attacks, I felt that my morale had hit pit bottom. I felt that I'm so incompetent. JS trying to act like a gentleman said that the task given to me was not an easy job and he said "Nvm I do, you go jogging with them." I can't help feeling that he is just trying to act like a good man cos after he tease me already, he felt guilty or something. But what you said, you can't take back. Then when KH came back from his jogging trip, he told me that he was sorry and asked me whether did he hurt my pride etc etc. But I told him it's understandable and all. Then JS walked pass us and told him that I cried etc etc... -___- Please do i look that weak?! I did kind of feel like crying when ML keep making fun of me but I got to keep a brave funny front.

Maybe I'm just making a hill out of a... there is this phrase but I have forgotten about it. Can anyone correct me? Thanks! XD
But I can only take a limit of hurtful jokes and insults. And maybe like what Helen said, I need to stand up for myself which I'm quite bad at it. Especially when Ms Bitchy has somebody like JS the lead to back her up and laugh about my designs.

That day was the worst day in this company SO FAR...

ps: JD who last time used my name to postpone the T-Shirt design competition didn't submit his design. But he didn't make fun or criticise other people's works like ML did. At least JD knows where he stands.