Goodbye

I guess I really finally have to say good bye to you. It is over. It is the final goodbye. No more patching up back. No more returning back to where once we were.

Last time all those break ups initiated by me were just some childish tantrums I had. But this is the real deal. There won't be any turning back as much as I want to.

7 years of relationship... in one night, everything is gone. I tried to cry on that night. But tears just came out bit by bit. Then next day, I had a good cry. I don't know when it is going to end. When can my heart stop feeling so painful.

I don't know since when I have become this bitter and angry person. Probably breaking up is a good choice.

I hate all of this. I don't want to miss you. I don't want to miss the places we had been to. I don't want to recall the first few years of our relationship. I don't want to miss having your hand wrap around my hand. They were all good memories. But it is too painful to recall.. I don't want to have to always cry and think about those!

It is always difficult to be the one who say good bye first. But it must be done somehow. We aren't compatible with each other. I believe there is one girl who will suit you. And I wish you all the best.

The saddest thing is the dream you had... about me on the plane crash. You called me on the cell phone and I picked up and said, " I'm fine and I'm really happy because I can do anything here." Symbolizing that I'm dead and I'm in paradise. It kind of symbolize in real life that I'm no longer the cheerful and bright girl I was last time. That girl that you love initially "died" and no longer were there...

I really appreciate that you honestly told me what were your thoughts and you did not want to do anything despicable behind my back.

I hope we can still remain as friends. Thanks for the past 7 years for taking good care of me, lent me financial support whenever you could for me, being there with me through different phases of life. Life had definitely been colorful for me with you around.

I am truly sorry... if I mistreated you in any way during the past. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that as a girlfriend, I did not add enough colors in your life for you as you did to me.

You were such a big part of my life and my heart. Now that large part has been taken away from me. I know I will need time to re adjust living my life knowing that you will not be part of my life anymore. Thanks for making such a deep imprint in my life. You will always be my first love and will always hold a special place in my heart.

Live well, take care, my friend. I wish you all the happiness in the world. You truly deserve it.

Back again?

Wow... I left this blog dying for 7 months! Hahaha... I wonder my friends, agwenalist and neleh still read this. I guess not. Anyway I'm more lazy to type down whatever that happened.

Things changes fast after 7 months. Yes such a short amount of time. 7 months ago, I was happy. Happy in my company. Thought everything will turn out fine. Who thought that you will discover so many things(mostly bad) about colleagues and management under the short 7 months?

Unbelievable.

Sigh...

To make long story short... past 7 months, ppl left the company, a friend got married and finally threw the wedding banquet. Can't believe that I have worked in this company for 2 years. Wow... I need to leave this company. To get to another environment. But then I'm just so damn lazy to work on my portfolio... And when there are opportunities coming, it slipped away just because i'm "unprepared"! It's so frustrating!!!

I won't promised I will update this blog. Maybe just drop in and type a few words... when I feel like it. ;)

Oh yeah I cannot believe that I'm turning 26 this year. Last time, I always look forward to my birthday so I could think of ways to celebrate with my close friends. But not anymore. Time passes by like a bullet train. I'm scared. :(

T.Y.M.F

T.Y.M.F

Thank.You.My.Friends.

Yes thank you all for being such a caring and loving friends! You are all my precious gems!

I will thank these 2 for coming to my birthday dinner. Although I cannot afford to treat you both but you both perform well! Very entertaining! Hahaha!!! Just kidding!

To "Chen Baby" (you know who you are) : Thanks for sharing all the crazy emoticons stories with me! Your every sentences always cracked me up! Thanks for the creative wishes you drew and wrote in the card! So cute ah!!! I love to always talk a lot of crap with this one. Hor CHEN BABY!? You still remember me? Don't remember? Repeat one more time with me! Anyway let us not forget Chen Baby forever ok? Muacks! Hahahaha! ps: I'm sorry that I didn't sms you to send you your brithday wishes ok? I didn't know you saved those smses :(

To "Hao Peng You": Yes lai lai lai! Sai alot of money to me la!!! Thanks for the contributions to Zixin Charity! Hahaha! Wo heng ai ni ah!!! You think I don't ai ni right? But you are wrong le!!! Hahaha! Thanks for being there at my bday celebration! Really had a great time with you and Chen Baby, "hao peng you" ah forever ah? Hee hee.

Ps: Chen baby and hao peng you remember hard that we ate alot of cupcakes on that day.... SIX cupcakes ok! Too bad no pictures to show... but it's really pretty!

To Helen: Thank you so much for sending me the Animal Crossing mini poster! I was touched by your gesture because you still remember I like that ya? :) So sweet of you! Although you weren't there for the dinner, your spirit with us anyways! Oh do check out Helen's blog and look what she has done for me! So cute!!! Hee hee! I like it!!! :D

Next to my colleagues: Thanks for the Ipod Nano!!! You are all great people!!! Esp the one who is leaving on the 13th of July. The message I am receiving from her through her little gestures is GOODBYE. I don't think she will read this blog. But the tears have been spilled. Anyway thanks! This is a great present!!! And I like it alot!!! :D

To I***e: Another betrayer who left the "ship"! Hahaha! Thanks for the birthday wishes! And also thanks for sharing the present with the colleagues. Thanks for having dinner with me on Friday too! It was a fun night with you! Hahaha! And also the Big Treat!!! Thank you thank you! I love you babe! :)

To Jing and Zhen: Thank you both for the presents too! And birthday wishes. These 2 have been my close friends for so many many many many years already! Words cannot express how thankful I am to have them as my close friends. And one of them is getting married soon!!!

To my boyfriend: Thank you! :)

Actually all of above can be summarise by saying Thank You My Friends... But I wrote so much things... Plus this thank you speech is long over due! I'm going to get scolding from Chen Baby already la... Hahaha...

I just want to say that having able to meet all of you, getting to know all of you must be my good karma accumulated in my previous life. Friends are difficult to come by already much less of close best friends! So i am lucky! :)

Oh ya Chen Baby nowadays keep working outdoors. Very frustrating... cos she cannot entertain me in the office. :P

Happy Birthday Helen!

I haven't been logging into blogger to blog down anything since September which is like... 3 months ago? Anyway the reason I am here is because today is my close friend, Helen's birthday. I just want to dedicate today's blog to her!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HELEN!

I'm so glad to have know you since poly. Remember the first time I met you in the auditorium in NYP? I bet you don't remember already la. Anyway thanks for everything you did for me. How you made me realise things and pull me down-to-earth and face the reality of life. How you always give your honest comments on stuff. And most of all, I want to thank you for covering the blanket on me when we were doing our "NOMAD" website project. Thanks for making me that milo hot drink. What you did that night really made a very great impact and impression!

Happy Birthday Helen! I love you very much! Please take good care of yourself ok? : )

ps: I dunno when you will come by to my "already-dead" blog to read this. But I will just leave this here just in case : ) Happy Belated Birthday Helen!

Zelda

No, this blog is not about Nintendo Zelda, the game... It's my cousin!!! I finally got to know her name! Zelda!!! Cute name ya? ;) My uncle still have not decide to give her what chinese name. He is torn between Jia Hui and Jia Yi... I'm not sure about Jia Hui.. But I know that Jia Yi is one of the choice.

Today I finally got to meet Zelda! She was the smallest thing I ever saw in my life... Her hair was straight not curly and she got quite alot of hair. Her fingers were quite long. When I reached the hospital, she was sleeping peacefully in her mother's arms. Auntie Arina told me that she kept wailing after she put her down in her crib. She did open her eyes to see us =) When she tried to open her eyes, her left eyes got stuck or something hahaha... she couldn't open it. So she just open her right eyes...

After Auntie Arina finished feeding her milk, she opened both of her eyes to see us.. hehe... But she got wailed in between the times we were looking at her. Her wails were very poor thing... hear already, heart pain.. =(


(L-R): Zelda was about to cry... Then she really cried... =(


(L-R): Zelda couldn't open her left eye... hee hee.. so cute! ^^

Remember I told you all that she has a 24 year old age gap with me! -___- So when she is 24, I will be 48! Talk about being OLD man!!! Hahaha!

More pictures will be posted I promise! When she is like older, I guess I will definitely take alot of her pictures ^^

Awfully Chocolate

Awfully Chocolate, Awfully Sinful & Good...

Hehehe... Today I went to Katong Mall to collect the awfully chocolate cake for my brother ultra belated birthday... I also bought a pint tub of their premium dark chocolate ice-cream, quite nice la. This cake shop is actually non existent in my world until MC from my company told me that the cake is very very nice...

Actually, I didn't find it VERY nice la.. it was ok but fell short of one notch to my expectation. I bought 2 flavours. One was the whole dark chocolate cake, the other one was two layers of fresh pisang rajah banana in between signature chocolate cake. You won't find it too rich after eating alot of the cake. So it was still ok.



(L-R): The name card; The awfully sinful cake


The awfully dark chocolate ice-cream, code name as "hei", 黑. Packaging is quite nice. Ice-cream is being packed into a box and put into this bag which insulate coldness to keep the ice-cream from melting! Nice!

Interested? Please click here for more information!
Awfully Chocolate

FW: One Woman's Story On Soya

Today when I checked my email, I saw the following forward email, by right I should have deleted it but I read on...

Subject: FW: OneWoman'sStoryOnSoya
Date: Thu, 31 Aug 2006 12:37:59 +0800

ONE WOMAN'S STORY ON SOYA...

This is my true story, nothing altered. These are facts, as they relate to my experience, my opinions based on what I have read and felt. I am relating them to warn other young health-conscious women who are unwittingly harming themselves.

In 1989, I graduated from high school in Texas and couldn't wait to hit the big college city. One of the changes I wanted to make was to eat healthier.

Once I moved to health-conscious Austin, Texas, I began to fortify my body with the best and healthiest foods I could find. Tofu was the main ingredient in every healthy dish and I bought soya milk almost every day used it for everything from cereal to smoothies or just to drink for a quick snack. I bought soya muffins, miso soup with tofu, soybeans, soybean sprouts, etc. All the literature in all the health and fitness magazines said that soya protected you against everything from heart disease to breast cancer. It was the magical isoflavones, the estrogen-like hormones that all worked to help you stay young and healthy. I looked great, I was working out all the time, but mymenstrual cycle was off. At 20, I started taking birth control pills to regulate my menstrual cycle.

In addition to this I began to suffer from painful periods. I began to get puffy, it was as though I was losing my muscle tone. I began tosuffer from depression and getting hot flashes. I mistook all this for PMS since my periods were irregular. By the time I was 25, my periods were so bad, I couldn't walk.

The birth control pills never made them regular or less painful so Idecided to stop taking them. I went on like this for another two yearsuntil I realized my pain wasn't normal. At 27, my gynecologist found two cysts in my uterus. Both were the size of tennis balls. I went through surgery to have them removed and thank God they were benign.The gynecologist told me to go back on birth control pills. I didn't. In 1998, he discovered a lump in my breast. Again, I went through surgery and again it was benign.

In November 2000 my glands swelled up and my gums became inflamed. Thinking I had a tooth infection I went to the dentist who told me that teeth were not the problem. After a dose of antibiotics the swelling still did not go down. At this point I could feel a tiny nodule on the right side of my neck. I told my mother I had thyroid trouble. She think I was being silly. No one in the family suffered from thyroid trouble. Going on a hunch I saw a specialist who diagnosed me with Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma.

After a series of tests he told me it was cancer. My fiance and I satstunned. We were not prepared and I was so scared. We scheduled surgery right away. The specialist told us that it would only be after the operation that a pathologist would be able to tell us for sure if itwas cancer. They found a tumor at my right lobe composed of irregular cells and another smaller tumor growing on the left, so the entire thyroid was removed.

They told me that after undergoing radioactive iodine I would be safe and assured me that I could live a long life. After treatment I began to search for the cause of all these problems. I never once thought it could be all the soya I had consumed for nearly ten years. After all, soya is healthy.

I came upon a web page that linked thyroid problems to soya intake and the conspiracy of soya marketed as a health food when in fact it is only a toxic by-product of the vegetable oil industry. This was insane, afterall, the health and fitness magazines had said nothing about soya being harmful.

I visited a herbalist who was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 1985. She informed me that soya was the culprit. She had a hysterectomy dueto cysts and other uterine problems. A few months later another acquaintance who had consumed soya came down with thyroid cancer. A girl in England I met through the Internet in a thyroid cancer forum hadjust undergone surgery and she was only 19.

What was going on? Breast cancer is linked to estrogen. What mimics estrogen in the female body, SOYA! But I never suspected soya because until now I never once found a single article that stated soya could be dangerous. Women who took soya prior to thyroid problems will continue to take it after ifthey are not aware of what soya actually does, what it contains and how it reacts in the female body. I think this is the reason that women withthyroid cancer often develop breast cancer later.

My co-worker is big into soya and I see her losing hair and gaining weight despite a walking workout during her break and after work, and apples and oranges for lunch. She just had cysts removed from heruterus too. I warned her to stay off soya. I referred her to websites but until itis on the evening news on all four networks, women will suffer. Since the thyroidectomy. I do not touch soya, haven't for two years.

Dear readers, please use my story in any way you can. There are so many young girls who are consuming soya because they think they are taking care of themselves, and women taking soya because they want to be healthy. It is so unfair that the information about the dangers of soya isn't more widely circulated. It is sad. There are many out there who feel this way and it is a terrible blow when you realize you are not as healthy as you thought and that the information that you depended on was wrong.

Oh shit man... and we think Soya stuff are suppose to be healthy?

On the 31st of August...

A BABY GIRL is born!!! (that will make her a Virgo!)

~~~HOOOOOO YEAYYYYYYY!!!!~~~

Congratulations to Auntie Arina and Uncle Leong!!! And welcome my newborn cousin!!! According to what my uncle said, my little cute cousin opened her big eyes to look around the environment like she was trying to familarise who was her father there and then. Hahaha! So cute!!! Her birth was a natural one... So that's good! =)

Although our age gap will be 24 years difference, I hope you and I get along well in all aspect! ^^ I will love and care for you! Hee hee... ^^

p.s: I will post up some of my cousin pictures soon. As of what is her name, I have no idea... =p Now what should I buy for her...?